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daydallas01
daydallas01
10.11.2019 • 
English

Can i get some constructive criticism on my poem i wrote?

it is about a man whose wife is killed by a drunk driver while they are walking home from a movie. the driver gets away with it because of his wealth and influence and so the husband goes and kills the driver and everyone else in the coffee shop because he thinks everyone is at fault and he believes he is a god.

where is your god?
betrayal. lies. love.
that's all there is.
nothing left to hold onto.
walls closing in.
losing air.
fading
fading

where is your god?
he promised riches and happiness.
i loved her. i wasn't rich but happy.
together we were.
walking home from the movie
pain.
looking to her and seeing her lying still
blood.
ambulance holding hands
no beat the music gone
betray.
best friend and his alcohol
he his alcohol and his porsche took her

where is this god?
i grieve
but what for.
never will i see her
feel the touch of her hand.

the only thing i feel is the recoil.
smith & wesson
the only thing i see is bodies
drunks and drunks
the only thing i hear is her voice
screaming
the only thing i think is where is this god?
i am.

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