Plz help. Here’s the question. How and when were you encouraged to be “seen and not heard”? How was this message conveyed?

Many situations can be related to this phrase. The message was conveyed in the way that you yourself as a vessel can be useful to others in maybe a situation of debate or other, but it wouldn't go beyond that. Therefore conveying that one may be useful as to be seen but seen as useless when heard.

It takes place in 1860 in a parish church

Explanation:Most of the action takes place at the parish church. Four times Thord comes to the church to make arrangements on behalf of his son. The only scene to take place elsewhere is the one on the lake, where Thord's son drowns. It is likely that the church and the lake are in Norway, the author's homeland, or possibly Sweden, a country he had close ties to. The characters' names and actions are purely Scandinavian, so it is likely that the story is meant to take place in one of these two countries.

"The Father" was written in 1860, and there is no reason to believe that it takes place at any other time.