Explain the difference between colloquial english and formal speech or writing.

The difference between colloquial English and formal speech or writing, is that colloquial English would be used in day to day speech, and messaging between friends, but formal writing would be used in academic essays. In colloquial English you can use conjunctions, slang and familiar speech, in formal speech and writing you try to avoid conjunctions, slang and using "I", "me", "myself", etc. You use them, references, and try to sound intelligent and well-educated. 

I watched as she slid across the floor. She looked like a seal sliding from the tub to the radiator. The entire journey was about 10 feet, but it felt like it took around 10 minutes for her to make that slide. Head first she bonked into the radiator, still wet and slightly covered by soap, shampoo and the shower curtain trailing her like some cape. Map woman. Europe and Africa covering her more delicate bits as she slid. I stood there, unsure how to react. Should I pick her up? Do I laugh? Do I just sit there and try to calculate what exactly happen. I smiled while I wait for her reaction, which is a mixture of tears, laughter, and sheer embarrassment. I finally get the ability to laugh to the ridiculousness of her and this moment, sliding like a seal into the radiator. It was the most graceful thing I've ever seen her do.