Read this example: animal testing, though technically legal in the united states, is cruel and extremely harmful to animals and should be stopped because many animals are left in pain and brutally murdered all for the sake of medicine and vaccines for humans.
how can you revise this sentence to make it less confusing for the reader?
a. break it up into smaller sentences.
b. focus the more positive topics.
c. fix the errors in grammar and spelling.
d. add additional evidence to the sentence.

The first alternative is correct (A).

Although this sentence is understandable, the fact of having many periods connected by commas disrupts a better literal experience for the reader.

When constructing a paragraph, the ideal is not to make extremely long periods, as in this case, where the whole paragraph contemplates only one period. To give a better cohesion to the text, the writer could divide it into smaller sentences and use connectives between them.

A. Break it up into smaller sentences

Ok so Mary is a little girl whos parents died, she ends up moving in with Archibald Craven, her uncle. She then later on meets a boy who is supposedly sick- he ends up being Colin, who is Master Craven's ten-year-old son. One day as Mary is walking down the sidewalk with a bird, a gust of wind moves some of the ivy on the stone wall beside her. Under the ivy is a door, which Mary unlocks with the key she found the day before. Thus when she opens the secret door she finds herself standing inside the secret garden. While talking to Colin he throws a tantrum to make Mary into spending more time with him but shes fed up with his attitude and yells at him. She shows him that he really isn't sick like everyone says he is. Later after befriending Colin, she shows him her secret garden, to her surprise it belonged to his mother. Together they nurse the garden back to health.