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i  can't tell if this is a question or not and why it's in the english senction but okayare living longer—but with chronic illnesses—their adult children are now caring for them for up to a decade or more. Siblings—or in some cases step-siblings—might not have a model for how to work together to handle caregiving and the many practical, emotional, and financial issues that go with it. There is no clear path guiding who should do what, no roadmap for how siblings should interact as mature adults. While some families are able to work out differences, many others struggle.

Siblings are also going through a major emotional passage that stirs up feelings from childhood. Watching our parents age and die is one of the hardest things in life, and everyone in the family will handle it differently.

Itʼs normal to feel a wide range of emotions. You may find that needs arise for love, approval, or being seen as important or competent as a sibling. You may not even be conscious of these feelings, but they affect the way you deal with your parents and with each other. So without realizing it, you may all be competing with each other as you did when you were kids. Now, however, the fights are over caregiving: who does or doesnʼt do it; how much; and who is in charge.

This is a hard time, so have compassion for yourself, and try to have compassion for your siblings. You donʼt have to excuse negative behavior, but try to imagine the fear, pain, or need that is causing your siblings to react as they do. That kind of understanding can defuse a lot of family conflict.

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